Monday, March 14, 2011

Brokencyde- Will Never Die

I come not to praise Brokencyde, but to give an honest appraisal of their new album "Will Never Die." These blind squirrels will never find a nut in the forest, that's a given. However, rather than let the deluge of hate bring them down, they pretend to embrace it. The  42 second dog turd that opens the album cries out "We have nothing left" cloaked as a cheeky "We know how much we suck, we're also in on the joke."  A voice intones, "In the year 2011 everything you know will change, Mikel, Seven, Phat J, together again, just to piss you off, one band, one mission, to ruin the music industry as you know it, forever"  They give themselves too much credit, they are but a drop of mouse piss in an ocean of cat piss. The music industry has survived atomic shit bombs (The Black Eyed Peas for example) and is still standing. Truthfully my light bill and the price of gasoline piss me off more than Brokencyde.  I'm not a seeker, I haven't been searching low or high, but I do know that music (and maybe humanity) will be better off once these sperm monkeys are back in their cages.  Right about now you're thinking, Ernest what about the album? The album is shit, It sounds just like their first album, did anyone expect these clowns to suddenly progress and evolve.  As they sing about low cut daisy dukes and girl's panties, it becomes obvious that they didn't spend their down time reading anything other than beer labels. Low class and Low brow, equals Low expectations. A sure sign that a band is scraping the bottom of the crapper barrel is when they include skits like "Teach me how to scream"  And when you're jacking beats from Kei$ha (Da House Party) then you're at rock bottom.  We can all blame ourselves for their impending demise, I curse all of you for being too intelligent to fall for this weak shit. Once Brokencyde is gone, who are we gonna hate?  When you run into these empty vessels in your English 105 class at CNM, be nice, they've already swallowed a lifetime's supply of shit (along with other things) Fuck me! I'm not really obligated to listen to every track, I don't get paid for this, it's a hobby, Sayonara Fuckers!