Saturday, November 3, 2012

Sleaze Rock

This edition of Sleaze Rock breaks from the format, three videos so astonishingly bad, that a mere four lines can't contain them.

OMG! they killed Kenny!, no such luck, he's still alive, although Billy Squier should kill Kenny (Ortega) for flushing his career down the crapper with one epic video. Ortega (of High School, the musical fame) directed Squier's Rock me Tonite, which is often cited as the worst music video ever made.

Rasheeda is a thirty something female rapper who likes to get nasty. The YouTube comments were so good that I added nothing, the lyrics & comments speak for themselves. Sadly the best comments have been purged from YouTube.  As a matter of personal choice, I would prefer Kelis' Milkshakes to Rasheeda's masticated Bubblegum.

Last and certainly least, some random shirtless dudes totally screw the pooch with a cover of Sweet Child 'O Mine. The best part of the video is at the end, when the guitarist looks at his "band mate" as if to say "We fuckin' nailed it!" the drummer then gets up to turn off the video recorder and he has a look on his face that says "This one is a keeper!"

You know it!, keep making them and I'll keep slaying them... Sleaze Rock, there ain't nothing else like it! Durrrrr! Durrr!

Billy Squier "Rock Me Tonite",  Mike Kebler of Captiol Records called this "a whopping steaming turd" The fallout from this dayglo abortion, (directed by foppish choreographer Kenny Ortega) stopped Billy's career in its tracks and ripped  his manhood in under four minutes. Billy was caught a big off guard,  "When I saw the video, my jaw dropped. It was diabolical. I looked at it and went, “What the fuck is this?, I was a good looking sexy guy, but in this video I just look poofy"

Billy went on "It was traumatizing to me, but I had nothing against gays, I have a lot of gay friends" Turn off the waterworks Billy... you did go along with it. I mean, grown ass men don't crawl around on the floor and skip like a girl. Low lights include a pink wife beater worn ala Flash Dance and a pink guitar!! Damn You Kenny Ortega, you are diabolical!  Top You Tube comment: -This is what Richard Simmons has eternally been trying to channel,  Rush P

Rasheeda - My Bubble Gum, Top YouTube comments: "First things first, I 'sheeda mess around wit no man who won't eat her" "I'm the type of girl, you wanna chew under my bubble gum" "Rasheeda needs to sit her lame ass down and be a wife and baby momma .. i mean seriously bitch you rapping about bubble gum" ...  "got the good good, you wanna eat it like desert"  "So does he eat her "bubblegum" first then take her to his mama house?" "I wish my son would bring some trashy hoe like her to my house talkin bout her stale bubble gum. pfft...."    EyeCandeeeeeeee  

Guys Without Shirts- Sweet Child O' Mine, It starts out sounding like the Guns 'n Roses megahit,  Within seconds it degenerates into a crapfest that sounds like Capt. Beefheart and Wild Man Fischer gang raping a mechanical cat. You know how a boombox sounds like when the d-cells run low? These guys replicate that sound live. Without realizing it they enter into a new dimension of noise as art, as they deconstruct the pop/rock  idiom in ways that The Residents, Godz (NYC band), Beefheart or Zappa never dreamed of. 

As fucking horrendous as these guys are, you have to wonder about Ana Lucia C. or Chaassi as she calls herself, she uploaded the video to YouTube and  now 560,000 video views later, she's riding that mule till it drops. Her attempts to glam on to these poor suckas is the musical equivalent of rounding up a bunch of homeless guys and staging bum fights for the camera. No amount of Hail Marys will save you from the fires of hell now Chaassi!