Tuesday, May 3, 2011

My Genuine Find

This is part of a continuing series of  reviews from My Space Music, the local bands are chosen randomly.

The decline of popular music as we know it really started with two turntables and a microphone. The advent of dj's, mc's and rappers opened the floodgates for non-musicians to gain a foothold on the national music scene. Those of us who thought things were bad enough back when rappers started jacking beats, never would've imagined what was coming next.  American Idol made it appear that almost anyone could be plucked out of the masses and made into a singing star. Simultaneously, the development of computer software that allows you to record, mix  and manipulate music with near studio quality revolutionized the way that musicians record music. This has given birth a new phenomena, the dork with computer skills and software, who has big dreams of becoming a pop star.  Bobby Mares is that geek in the sneaks, however a name like that will never do in this homogenized age, it's too ethnic.  What's needed is something totally bland that can't be identified with anything. Thus, Bobby Mares became My Genuine Find, the burning bag of shit that Las Cruces has laid upon our front door steps.
Let's get this out of the way, the guy has no talent, and after two albums and a handful of shitty eps, there is still no sign of improvement or progression. Nor will there ever be, My Genuine Find, is proof positive that auto tune can't fix everything. The vocals consist of a vapid croak that is consistent only in its mind numbing sameness. The music is a dumpster mix of synthesizer beats and rock guitars, all of which sound jacked. The cringe factor is high on the recordings, but it goes off the register during his live act. For proof of this, view his video from the Vans Warped tour stop that he somehow wormed his way onto. It's Bobby Mares flying solo on a side stage with some pre-recorded auto beats, you know he's not lip syncing, because only a knuckle head would pre-record those ghastly vocals.  Mares sashays around, flails his arms, pulls out a few femme rock star moves and generally dicks it up for the lethargic crowd. The response from the mostly female crowd is underwhelming and it doesn't take long for anyone viewing the video to feel embarrassed for him. It appears that Bobby Mares identifies with his core audience just a little too well, he seems to have the mindset of a pre-teen girl. He could be following some brilliant marketing scheme, but it appears that things like that go over his head. As an example I present this list of fab things, lifted straight off My Genuine Find's My Space Music blog:  
"What My Genuine Find is...
Alright, so I've been hearing a lot of people saying lately how bands are outta control, making bad music, but having cool images, and thats all its about nowadays and blabla (sic)
I've decided I want MGF to be whatever I want it to be. Since I'm the only member in my band, I can do whatever I want, BOOM!
I want My Genuine Find to have lots of cool pictures, I like photography, BOOM.
I want My Genuine Find to have lots and lots of cool youtube videos, BOOM.
I want My Genuine Find to have amazing music videos, BOOM.
I want My Genuine Find to be interactive with all my online friends, via Stickam, Tumblr, Twitter, Facebook
I want to continue to make EP's every few months with my new ideas, and write about what ever I feel like, make it sound how ever I want to, BOOM.
I want to have cool myspace layouts that me and my buddies create, BOOM!
Yes, it's very much about the music, but thats not all of what My Genuine Find is. It's a full out project. Music, pictures, videos, interaction.
I won't put a cap on what I want to create just because it's supposed to ''just be about the music''.
This is My Genuine Find.

Fuck me! there are so many things wrong with this, I don't know where to start, but let me see what I can do.  1. Hey Asshole! you're selling music, so it better just be about the music, you're not selling happy thoughts, there has to be product with actual value. 2. Dude, you are not a band, you are a pre-programmed auto bot dickhead. 3. I never thought I would quote the good book on Dirt City Chronicles but here goes: Corinthians 13:11, "When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I felt as a child, I thought as a child. Now that I have become a man, I have put away childish things." Boom!   Grown ass men who are obsessed with the same things as little girls, are just fucked up and weird. Listen up Shallow Hal, what is missing here is the long view, your fans will drop you faster than a snot rag once they grow up. Start saving your cash now to pay for your classes at the Dona Ana Branch. I would review the music but since Mr. Mares doesn't give a fuck about his music, why should anybody else?  Anyhow, just try and listen to more than two songs of this whine-along crapfest, I dare you. Fuck you Lost Cruces, I know that Albuquerque gave the world Brokencyde, but this is just low down and dirty.