Monday, November 8, 2010


First of all, these guys suck ass! there is no discernible quality in any of their music that would make a casual listener think otherwise.  Albucrazy screamo-crunkcore act BrokenCYDE (their spelling not mine) are an affront to musical taste.   Collectively they produce a morass crap fest of pig squeals (bree bree) and screams. They are finger flip posers pushing unconvincing bad boy attitudes, backed by beats jacked from any number of hyphy tracks. They try hard, they work hard (the pig in their videos is cool) but it's not genuine.   It's all pre-fab noise, that appeals to some and leaves others holding their nose like they just found someone had taken a steaming dump on the front seat of their car.   With that said, they are extremely popular, these motherfuckers have racked up some unreal numbers on You Tube.  I don't have sales numbers for Albuquerque based bands in front of me, but they've probably racked up more sales (digital and cd) than anyone this side of the The Shins.  So, why haven't you heard of them? maybe because their core audience starts at about 12 years old and peaks before they can legally buy those 40oz. bottles that they croak about. 
In the music business that's the life expectancy of a fruit fly.  While Brokencyde imagine themselves as having some connection to the No Cal Bay Area hyphy scene, they are in fact much closer in spirit and intelligence to those jackass juggalos that worship ICP. And not unlike those face painted morons (who claim they're peddling humor and irony)  the joke gets lost when the musicians start to believe their own bullshit.  Brokencyde was founded in Albuquerque by vocalists Se7en (David Gallegos) and Mikl (Michael Shea),  Phat J and Antz (Anthony Trujillo) joined later to round out the group.  Mikl provides "clean vocals" while Se7en (that spelling is so stupid) provides "screamed vocals" yes, that's right, he screams,croaks and squeals like a pig, all of which get real tiresome in a hurry.  They push some silly bullshit as to how they came up with the name (because their personal relationships were broken inside). The group released their first album " I'm Not a Fan, But the Kids Like It!" in 2009 on the Break Silence label,  they followed up with "Will Never Die" in 2010.
To say that the band is universally hated is an understatement, the band has been the subject of hoaxes, fake stories and death rumors. This includes a fake report that said the band members were being held on drug, rape and child porn charges in New Mexico. Not that these hollow heads let any of that bother them, despite their emo trappings, these lunkheads are not hyper sensitive, they've developed some thick skins. Brokencyde has been universally panned by critics, however I'm just a blogger, my humble opinion doesn't mean shit, let's see what the pros think;  Metal Edge magazine has called Brokencyde "fucking horrendous.","Thrash Magazine" has called them "a mockery to the world of music". contributor Michael Swaim said the band sounded like "a Slipknot-Cher duet" British commentator Warren Ellis calls Brokencyde's "FreaXXX" music video "a near-perfect snapshot of everything that’s shit about this point in the culture." The New Musical Express stated in a review of I'm Not a Fan, But the Kids Like It!, that "even if I caught Prince Harry and Gary Glitter adorned in Nazi regalia defecating through my grandmother’s letterbox I would still consider making them listen to this album too severe a punishment." I must say that's pretty harsh, but there's more; The online Urban Dictionary has gone so far as to tag Brokencyde as urban slang that defines:  "Music so bad, it has become the universal standard for bad music" they have also designated Brokencyde as meaning "the act of having a penis inserted in your ear", ouch! but wait! there's more, The Urban Dictionary describes Brokencyde as "The band that always wins the what is the worst shit-ass music ever created by man argument." not satisfied with that they also add; "Everyone thinks that they know horrible music, but upon subjugation to the "freaxx" youtube video, Brokencyde unanimously decides the debate."
The Urban Dictionary is still not done with these tea baggers; "Imagine four things plus one other thing from Albuquerque New Mexico, USA.. jacking each other off so hard skin has begun to tear.. throw in a few mindless word combos AND a few carefully selected samples from techno, pop, crunk lil jon shit, emo, screamo, fagboygirl, scenekid music.. subsequently record that shit.. play it to a record label, get signed.. and whaalaa! you have BROKENCYDE!" Damn, somebody get a water hose so we can get those Urban Dictionary fuckers off these boys.  By comparison you would have to say that I was nice, very nice indeed, nonetheless fuck off and die Brokencyde!