“There’s nothing as unstoppable as a
freight train full of fuck-yeah.”
Much like Alice Cooper, Molly Hatchett,
Bettie Serveert etc. Jenny Clinkscale wasn't an actual person. The
band, described by its label as “equal parts glam, cock and shock
rock” took its name from singer/guitarist Jen Sincero's first name
and singer/guitarist Amy Clinkscale's last name. Formed in 1997,
Jenny Clinkscale started blowing minds almost immediately... leading
the Albuquerque Journal to praise them in this manner... "the
group has a power that few bands are willing to wield these days." Jenny Clinkscale came together during a
period in 'Burque's musical history that Journal music writer Kenn
Rodgriguez once described as “atrophied” and mired in “musical
doldrums”
Naturally, it was anything but. “Lack
of middling bands makes it seem as if nothing new is coming up on the
local scene” Kenn lamented, while naming off a list of “big
bands” working the local scene: Giant Steps, January's little
Joke, Flake, Scared of Chaka, Naomi and Hazeldine, Jenny Clinkscale,
The Honeys, The Gluey Brothers (who were hanging around Santa Fe at
the time) That's not a shabby roster and he left out more than a
handful of excellent bands: The Withdrawals for instance. It all
comes down to perception, it's hard to take in the big picture when
you're gazing at your shoes, “You raise up your head and you
ask, "Is this where it is?"
What the Jenny Clinkscale band brought
to the local scene was entertainment value.... you put down your hard
earned moolah and in return you witnessed a rock and roll testimonial
unlike any seen before or since. Jen Sincero, the self anointed “rock
goddess” had cut her teeth in NYC with Crotch (Sara Rotman and Mike
Mellett) Crotch dropped one epic tongue in cheek video for their
single, “Power Tool of Love” in 1994, then dropped from sight.
The video includes a cameo by Adam Ant, Jen's mother and a hair
bikini. Dear old mom gets catcalled by construction workers and Jen
has no recourse but to take matters in hand. “and then something
happened, I felt the biggest burning hunk of man muscle I ever felt
in my life”
“You're here. I'm here. I love
you. I'm gonna pee all over the floor about it.”
Naturally..... Jenny Clinkscale
revolved around Jen Sincero and Amy Clinkscale, accompanied by a
revolving cast of local musicians (at least 15 different musicians
according to Jen & Amy) this included: Leonard Apodaca, Dead
Leonard, owner of The Atomic Cantina and co-founder of Socyermom
Records. Elijah Mink, a drummer from Seattle who responded to Jen's
best selling book: “Don't Sleep With Your Drummer” by stating, “I
don't know what I did to her” By the time Jenny Clinkscale hit the
studio to record their one and only album “Mind if We Join You?”
the line-up consisted of Marcos Garza and Freddie Weinstein.
Additional musicians included: Justine
Flinn, David Cragin and Ronnie Wheeler. Produced by Stacy Parish, Art
Direction by Jen and Leonard Apodaca. A local classic, “Mind if We
Join You?” is a skillful mix of mid-90s alternative rock influenced
heavily by Liz Phair and P.J. Harvey (obviously, seeing how Jen's
other band from this period, 60 Foot Queenie derived its name from
Polly Jean's song “50 Ft. Queenie” 60 Foot Queenie, formed in
Los Angeles is not to be confused with 50 Foot Queenie, a P.J. Harvey
tribute band) 60 Foot Queenie wasn't much of a departure from Jenny
Clinkscale. Not long after that, Jen ditched the rock & roll
lifestyle, declaring herself a failed rock star goddess.
“When my plans to become a
world-famous rock star didn't pan out, I decided to try being a
lesbian instead, didn't pull that off either” Jen set about
becoming a writer (of books and such) She's since authored several
tomes starting with “My Life as a Rock Goddess” 2001, “Don't
Sleep with Your Drummer” 2002, The Straight Girl's Guide to
Sleeping with Chicks” 2005 and “You Are a Badass: How to Start
Doubting Your Greatness and Start Living an Awesome Life” 2013. As
a success coach, sex advice columnist and New York Times bestselling
author, Jen has found the success and acclaim that eluded her as a
rock musician. (The Huffington Post describes her as a “motivational
cattle prod” who's goal in life is to encourage people to live
“lives of unbridled awesomeness”)
“Rub Till It Bleeds”
Sincero also hosted of her own
nationally syndicated sex advice column, Living in Sin. “the
sexpert with the carnal knowledge you need. Ask her your question.
Cuz there's no such thing as being too good in bed” A NSFW
endeavor with entries such as one titled: “Taking it to the Rim”
it went like this, Dear Jen, I have recently discovered that I love
rim jobs, both giving and receiving them. Yet, no matter what I try,
I can't seem to get anyone to try it. How can I convince them? Jen's
response? “Leave it to the human being to evolve into a species
that's terrified of its own butthole. But don't despair, As you said,
you only recently discovered how much you love having your butt
licked. Lord only knows what other undiscovered delights are out
there”
Jen's advice was always insightful and
compassionate. Cuz, people got problems: “Dear Jen, I love to watch
porn and have fantasized about group sex with my wife and this is
causing a problem in my marriage” Dear Jen, I’ve been in love
with my neighbor. We recently hooked up a couple of times - he kissed
me for the second time and I blew him twice. Dear Jen, I'm a 20
year-old, bisexual-leaning lesbian who has not done anything sexual
with either gender. I get turned on easily and love to masturbate all
the time. One titled “Holes and Poles” is worth sharing: Dear
Jen, I have a question that's been driving me NUTS. I can't decide
between boys and girls. It's killing me. Have you ever felt this way?
She also appears on The Blog at The
Huffington Post “Without your questions, she is like a flip with no
flop, tuna with no mayo, a columnist with no column” Some of the
highly entertaining entries included: Don't Let the Holidays make you
their Bitch, The Tao of Houseguesting, Watch Your Mouth Dude, Live
Like Your Life Depends on It, How to Stop Dating the Wrong People,
Threesome's a Crowd and Merrily Skipping into the Unknown. In 2011,
Jen packed all her belongings in storage and traveled around the
world as a member of the NPA (No Permanent Abode) promoting the Zen
of Jen “We humans can get used to anything. The problem is that we
often use this glorious ability of ours to stay stuck in mediocrity.
Oh the years we waste adapting to lousy marriages, soul sucking jobs,
being friends with people who are rude to waitresses...”
Your Brain is Your Bitch
Dear Jen: I'm sleeping and right in the
middle of a good dream, like all at once... I wake up from something
that keeps knocking at my brain. Before I go insane, I hold my pillow
to my head and spring up in my bed screaming out the words I
dread.... I think I love you (I think I love you) You are fucking
awesome. What is wrong with me?_ Cosmic Cold Cut
Dear Jen: I wanna be a bad ass too, I
want to move out of Loserville and into a penthouse in Awesome
City.... am I capable of overcoming my weeny dog tendencies and
becoming a pitbull? I want to take a bite out of life._ Last Guy in
Guyville
You can keep up with Jen Sincero at
http://www.jensincero.com/blog/
Online, Jen has more memes than Bad Luck Brian and more quotes than
Winston Churchill, here's some of my favorites:
“You are loved. Massively.
Ferociously. Unconditionally. The Universe is totally freaking out
about how awesome you are. It’s got you wrapped in a warm gorilla
hug of adoration. It wants to give you everything you desire. It
wants you to be happy. It wants you to see what it sees in you.”
“You are responsible for what you say and do. You are not responsible for whether or not people freak out about it.”
“It sucks being in love with someone
and never being allowed to show it.”
“If you work with great people, it will be a great experience. Even if you're shoveling shit.”
“And the day came when the risk to
remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to
blossom.”
“Faith is the muscle you use when you
decide to blast outside of your comfort zone and transform your life
into something that’s practically unrecognizable to you in your
present reality.
If You want to Kick Ass, You must first
pick up your foot
